5 Tips to Jumpstart Your Dating After Divorce

By: Kelly Kilpatrick

Divorce is a trying experienced that can leave you questioning every aspect of your being. The entire process is a painful one, whether you wanted the divorce or not, and you end up feeling alone and like you no longer fit in with the world. Nothing could be further from the truth, however, with half of marriages ending in divorce. You are not alone; you just need to get back out there and see once again what the world has to offer. Take this time as an opportunity to reclaim your life and find out what it is you really want.

1. Go out. There is nothing like just getting back out there and throwing your hat into the ring. You are obviously a person of higher value if you were able to get married in the first place, and women recognize that. However, this is about just getting back out there. Find some friends at work who go out regularly and start joining them. Observe others, talk, and enjoy yourself! Soon, you will be comfortable enough to initiate conversations. Don’t hold yourself back, just be yourself!

2. Get it out of your system. Chances are, when you were married, you saw lost opportunities that you could have had as a single man. Now is the time to get all that out of your system. That isn’t to say you have to be an absolute jerk, but there are plenty of women out there who are willing to engage in casual relationships. If this is an aspect of your life that you feel you missed out on, by all means, get it out of your system. You will soon realize that it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. Of course, do so responsibly—use protection. Getting this desire out of your system clears the way for you to get back out in the world with the right intentions.

3. Spend some time on yourself. When’s the last time you thought about what you need? In marriages, both people involved compromise a lot of themselves, which is part of the reason so many marriages end in divorce. What are you all about? What is non-negotiable in the next relationship? These are the things you need to consider when looking for potential partners in the future. You must know yourself, what your needs are, and what kind of person will help you satisfy those needs.

4. Focus on what you want. What are you really looking for in a relationship? What about your previous marriage was not desirable? What kind of a woman will make you happy? You need to make a list traits your ideal mate would possess, and don’t settle for less. There are so many women out there, you must find the one that is right for you. Relationships are hard work; don’t spend your time cultivating something that won’t end up working out. Give your best effort into finding the right person, and take your time.

5. Get back out there. After you have played the field and gotten all the playing around out of your system, you have decided what it is you really want. You now know yourself better and are willing to put effort into the dating process. Armed with your new knowledge, you are now better prepared to re-enter the world with a fresh perspective. Get back out there, be yourself, and find the right person who suits you.


This post was contributed by Kelly Kilpatrick, who writes on the subject of the best online dating services. She invites your feedback at kellykilpatrick24 at gmail dot com.