How To Break Up And Still Be Friends

By: James Carter

Relationships are hard work and sometimes they just don’t work out and the only solution is to break up. When this happens, it pays to be mindful of your partner’s feelings as they go through the emotions of breaking up. It can be hard at the time to be considerate for your partner feelings, but in the long run it’s best for both of you and can enable you to both be friends once the dust has settled.

If people fall in love, they can also fall out of love, and this can be one of the reasons why relationships end. It is especially hard when long relationships end like this because so much emotional effort has been put in by both partners. It can be really painful to wake up one day and realize that you do not have the same feelings for your partner like you used to. There are also other reasons like growing apart, the need for individual space and of course, infidelity.

It hurts to break up but it hurts more to find out that your partner has long had intentions of breaking up with you but could not do it. Staying in a relationship just for being in it is a waste of time and is basically living a lie.

Before you make the decision to break up, be sure each of you has exhausted all means to fix the relationship. It’s an almost impossible task to recover a relationship after a break up so be sure you’re doing the right thing – especially if children are involved. If you’re both absolutely sure there’s no other way, then make the decision and move forward, don’t linger or procrastinate.

Be sure you’re both involved in the decision, it’s absolutely wrong to just walk out and leave your partner behind with no explanations. Aside from the pain brought about by rejection, there is the confusion of being left out just like that. People need closure to move on, so the likelihood is that your partner will pursue to get answers. It’s best if you front up with answers before you leave.

When the time comes to end the relationship, here are some things to consider to help lessen the pain for both of you:

1. Plan when and where you should tell your partner of your intention to break up. You have to talk to them face to face; do not just call or email them. Imagine if that how they told you they wanted to leave – how would you feel?

2. Have an explanation that is honest and heartfelt. You can expect some deep and meaningful questions if this is a shock to your partner so think about your reasons and be prepared to share them. Above all, be truthful as any lies will surely be found out and you’ll be the loser eventually.

3. Don’t give false hope – if you think it’s over then say so. If you don’t, your partner might try to win you back, wasting time, effort and causing unnecessary emotional stress for both of you.

4. Be concise and to the point – stick to the facts and try not to get involved in any emotional arguments. Bear in mind how hurt your partner might be, so don’t prolong the meeting any longer than you have to.

5. Finally, don’t expect your ex to be friends with you immediately. Even if you feel friendly towards them, they may still be hurting and will need time to heal. Also prepare yourself that they may never be your friend – sometimes it’s just too hard to see someone you once loved just as a friend.

If you can be empathetic, honest and respectful then you’ve done everything possible to keep your ex as a friend. However ultimately it’s up to them, so don’t force the issue or you can guarantee you’ll never be friends.

Author Bio: James Carter offers practical advice for men on dealing with relationship issues and recovering from separation. Article Source: http://mens-place.blogspot.com - an original article