Breaking Up – How You Know It Is Over

By: James Carter

Do you find yourself wishing your partner would leave, or that you could just walk away into a new life? If your relationship is making you unhappy, damaging your self esteem or is abusive or violent, then maybe it’s time to call it quits and leave.

The amount of love in a relationship naturally ebbs and flows, sometimes there’s more and sometimes less. Sometimes you feel like it’s all not worth it and you should just walk out. So how do you know when your relationship is at a natural low point or when it’s all over?

There are some common signs to look for in a failing relationship:

1. Can you communicate successfully or do you always end up in an argument? Do the same problems keep resurfacing again and again? Have you tried counselling?

2. When you fight, do you fight fair? Do either of you bring up past hurts? Is there any physical or emotional abuse?

3. When was the last time you had fun together?

4. When was the last time you felt sexually attracted to each other? Do you still make love?

5. Does your spouse constantly put you down, attack your self-esteem, and/or criticize you? Do you have any respect for your spouse? Does your spouse respect you?

If the answers to these questions are mostly negative then it could be a sign that your relationship is on the rocks. It’s certainly not healthy for a relationship to consist of frequent arguments, violence or demeaning behaviour. If you are experiencing any emotional, verbal or physical abuse, then it’s definitely time to call it quits.

Along with abuse, it is also important to recognise if your relationship is not only making you miserable, but is also robbing your self esteem. When you realize that the effects of your relationship are preventing you from enjoying life, it is time to step back and re-evaluate your relationship. Of course no relationship is perfect and you can expect to have good and bad times, but if things have become so negative that you no longer feel good about yourself, then the relationship is destructive and needs to end.

There are also many reasons why people stay together, even though they know that they should really end the relationship. Sometimes one partner makes the other feel guilty about leaving and manipulates them into staying in the relationship. If you feel within your heart that the relationship is over, then you should do what’s right for you without any feelings of guilt about the relationship.

Before throwing in the towel, you should ask yourself these questions:

1. Are you willing to share the responsibility of parenting your children with your ex-spouse?

2. Do you have a plan if you do divorce? Are you able to cope with the financial and emotional stresses of divorce?

If you have children then this becomes an additional dimension to consider. It’s generally better for children to grow-up in a family with their parents in the same house. The exception to this is when there’s an environment of abuse, danger or emotional stress. Before you decide to walk out on your wife and kids, consider the children and whether it’s possible to resolve your differences. Only if that’s absolutely impossible and the family environment is worse if you stay together than if you split up, should you even consider leaving.

Staying in a relationship when it is time to call it quits can lead to serious consequences for your health or well-being. Stress, tension and anxiety can take their toll and it simply isn’t worth it. If you are suffering in a bad relationship and there’s no sign of improvement, then it is best to end it and move on. It is better to be alone and happy then to stay with someone who makes you unhappy. You owe it to yourself to find true happiness with someone who loves, cares for, and respects you.

Author Bio: James Carter offers practical advice for men on dealing with relationship issues and recovering from separation. Article Source: http://mens-place.blogspot.com/ - an original article