Online Dating Tips – Write a great profile & get the girl!

By: James Carter

Recently I was asked to help a female friend find a man on an online dating site. I was happy to help as this was how I’d found my own partner. However, this time I was seeing it from the female point of view, which was very illuminating.

The thing that really stood out was the sheer lack of thought and imagination in most men’s online profiles. I was staggered and quite dismayed at the lack of choice for my friend and I began to understand why she was having such a difficult time finding a mate.

I decided that men need help to write a killer online dating profile. I saw several common problems throughout lots of profiles and I realised that most men’s profiles fall into one of these 3 categories:

1. The strong silent type – this guy writes the absolute minimum in the hope that the reader is somehow psychic and can figure out his personality without words.

2. The comedian – this guy can’t help writing one-liners throughout his profile. On the plus side at least he’s taken the time to write a lot of words, it’s just a shame that he’s not chosen them more carefully. His message is lost amongst the jokes.

3. The cliché guy – if he’s not a sports commentator then he should be! There’s so many “walks along the beach”, “snuggles on the couch” and “holding hands in public” that you think you’re reading straight from the pages of “How To Pickup Women”!

The problem with all of these profiles is that none of the writer’s personality comes through. So the reader either has to assume they don’t have any personality, or she has to work hard to uncover it by asking lots of questions. Let’s face it – that’s not going to happen because there are so many other profiles, why would she spend time on yours?

So how do you write a killer profile that catches the reader’s attention and makes her want to chat to you? The answer is simple – SELL yourself. Your profile is your advertisement, so it should be punchy, interesting and descriptive.

Follow these steps and you’ll have so many messages to read that you’ll need to have the size limit on your inbox increased!

1. A good photo! How do you decide which woman to contact – you check out her picture; if she’s cute then she’s passed the first test. So isn’t it reasonable that women would do the same? It’s so obvious yet so many guys either don’t have one or choose some dreadful picture that looks like a Wanted poster or a school photo! Select a picture that conveys your personality – make sure you’re smiling & it helps if it looks like you’re having fun.

2. Avoid cheesy clichés and unoriginal or inappropriate jokes – again this may sound obvious, but it’s shocking how many guys’ profiles sound like they’re the script from a 70’s sit-com. Lines like “be the wind beneath my wings” or “seeking a special lady” do nothing but turn-off the reader and make her move on to another profile. If you can’t think of something original or genuinely humorous, then just keep it simple and concentrate on descriptive and interesting comments instead.

3. Unless you’re naturally so chatty that people often tell you to be quiet, you should write twice as much in your profile as you think you need. That doesn’t mean fill it with useless waffle (see point 2 above); instead put some serious thought into what you’re writing. You’ll be surprised how easy it is if you imagine a beautiful woman is asking you the questions and you’re trying to impress her with your answers. (While we’re talking about impressing her, nothing is more impressive than correct spelling & good grammar. Take the time to proof-read what you’ve written – or write it in MS Word and let the software check it for you before pasting it into your profile!)

If you’re still in doubt about whether I’m right, have a look in your online dating site for other guys with the same characteristics as you – your competitors! Some of their profiles will have you laughing at how bad they are, some will leave you confused because they’ve not said anything about themselves, and some (probably only a few) will make you interested to the point where you go on to read some of their other pages too. These are the best of the best – the ones you should try to emulate because they’ll be getting all the girls’ attention (they got your attention, after all!).

Another point worth noting is there are certain key words that you should avoid using in your profile. Apart from the obvious smutty or rude comments, try to steer clear of “shy”, “quiet”, “loner” and “addict” (drugs, TV or sports!). They are real turn-off words that will have your potential mate running for the hills!

In summary, if you only do a half-hearted job of writing your profile, you’re doing yourself no favours and you’re turning away potential mates. To be a successful profile, it needs to sell your best attributes and that means it's descriptive and interesting with a good photo. If you follow these tips, you’ll be surprised at just how many messages you’ll get and you’ll be able to pick and choose who you contact and who you date.

Author Bio: James Carter offers practical advice for men on dealing with relationship issues and recovering from separation. Article Source: http://mens-place.blogspot.com - an original article