By: Erik Michaels
Guys, it comes as no news to you that we tend to make mistakes, and often these mistakes can threaten our relationships. When you've screwed up enough times that she's looking for the door, desperation can really set in and you'll do almost anything to make her not want to leave you. Well, I think I can help you.
A big chunk of getting her to stay with you is to figure out what your problems are and to get them fixed in a hurry. Once you've determined what's really the matter, your battle becomes a lot easier to win. Unfortunately, sometimes even finding out what's wrong can be difficult, so ask yourself the following questions to start with.
- Did I say something ridiculously stupid that made her mad at me?
- Did I have a lapse of faithfulness? (That means CHEATING!)
- Have I spent enough time with her lately?
- Did I miss something important, like her birthday or our anniversary?
- Have I been emotionally supportive enough?
- Have I made absolutely sure that she knows how much she's cared for here?
I'm not saying these six things are the only possible reasons for why she's thinking about leaving, but they should get your mind working and usually have a little to do with whatever's going on. Remember that it's rarely just one problem, but can be an entire slew of them.
Now, there are big problems and little problems in a relationship, but none of them are trifling matters. Even "smaller" problems like saying something stupid or forgetting Valentine's Day can stack to cause a relationship-threatening feud. Just because they're not world-enders doesn't mean you can ignore them...it just makes them easier to handle.
The large problems --such as cheating on her or not making sure she's aware of how much you care about her-- can be crippling because they really wound her emotionally and as a person. They're almost like the most brutal insults you could possibly say. Getting through bigger problems requires sacrifice and change...it's not easy, but it's critical.
Saving a relationship from its problems starts with you stopping the behaviors that started it...this is easiest with the little things. Immediately quitting these things coupled with a heartfelt apology can usually take care of the majority of the recovery needed, but only if you continue to NOT do those things.
Remember that while the little things are generally not relationshipkillers when taken one at a time, repeating them over a long period of time or doing a bunch at once can really mess things up for you and your girlfriend, so you don't get a free pass with these. Be careful.
The really deadly things are the larger problems, the biggest and most common being cheating on one another...and sadly it's traditionally the guys' role to be the idiots doing the cheating. There's really no excuse for being unfaithful, and that really goes for more than just having sex with another woman. There are girls who consider inappropriate looks to be cheating, and while your girl may not be one of them there's really no reason to push it. You don't need other women, you've got the best one right?
Frankly, most problems big and small in a relationship can be avoided entirely by paying really close attention and respecting each other. When communication shuts down and you stop listening to one another, things can get hairy pretty fast. If you just devote your attention and time to your girlfriend, things should be pretty good...and on the rare occasion that a problem comes up, you'll be able to deal with it quickly and effectively.
If there's a serious problem going on right now with your relationship, and your girlfriend is looking for the door in spite of your desire to make it work, it's critical to do what you have to in order to make her happy and make her stay. Sacrifice and compromise are the names of the game, and if that's what it takes to make her feel cared-about, that's what you need to do...and is that really so unfair?
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